Childhood Financial Trauma
As we have talked about before, Financial Trauma has a huge impact on how we interact with our money. From avoiding bills to overspending, financial trauma is a huge twist in our money story. And more often than not, Financial Trauma happens in childhood when we are still trying to understand how the world functions and how we fit into it.
Childhood Financial Trauma can be particularly devastating to our money relationship because it happens while we are still learning about who we are as people. When a Financial Trauma happens in childhood, it impacts not only our beliefs about money, but also our beliefs about the world and ourselves. We learn who we are as children largely based on feedback we get from our surroundings. Through a game of testing the limits, we learn where we fit and what to believe about ourselves. When we test or question ideas around money, we are not only learning about the concept of money, we are also learning what money says about us.
When a Childhood Financial Trauma happens, we might receive the message that you can never trust money to stick around. Even more - we might start to embrace the idea that money doesn’t stick around because we are not worthy of it. There are so many examples of ways we start to personalize our money experiences as children. Childhood Financial Trauma can have lasting effects on our financial and mental wellbeing throughout our lives.
Further, in childhood, we are particularly sensitive to the stress of our caregivers. When we witness our caregivers going through a Financial Trauma or significant financial stress, we start to take that on too. Our own subconscious is molded by this energy and the messages we hear from our caretakers. If we experienced a Financial Trauma in childhood, facing financial stress as an adult can be particularly painful.
What Causes Childhood Financial Trauma?
Childhood Financial Trauma takes many forms, but it is often the result of having too little for too long. This could show up as food insecurity, clothing insecurity, educational disparities, evictions, and so many other scenarios. Childhood Financial Trauma can also be the result of other money stress that are less associated with poverty or money mismanagement. It can be frequent fighting about money, bullying, litigations, overindulgence (or being spoiled), neglect, or shaming around costly needs or money mistakes. Financial Trauma is pervasive and rarely talked about.
How to heal from Childhood Financial Trauma
Identify your core beliefs around money - what are the ideas and attitudes you have around money? Spend time journaling and reflecting on these. They may be very obvious to you or they may be fairly hidden in the subconscious.
Reflect on whether these beliefs are serving you - are your core money beliefs getting you closer to financial peace or tearing you up inside?
Replace unhelpful core beliefs - anytime you notice a thought, emotion, or physical sensation that reminds you of this core belief, remind yourself of a healthier one. Eg. Everytime I think about money running out, I remind myself that money is a renewable resource.
Seek help from a professional - A Financial Therapist or Trauma Therapist can help you truly understand and heal this rift you have with money. Some of my favorite ways to do this are through EMDR, Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy, and Somatic therapy.
At the end of the day, there are 2 things I will always recommend.
Start a gratitude practice ASAP. Nothing heals money pain like being grateful.
Tell yourself all day everyday, “my worth is inherent. I am worthy regardless of my finances.”
Best of luck on your money journey!